Author Archives: Digital cops

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HOW POLICE OFFICERS COOK UGALI

HOW POLICE OFFICERS COOK UGALI

  1. Put Sufuria on fire.😂
  2. Realize there is no matchbox.
  3. Run🏃 to canteen for the matchbox☺️.
  4. Come back, light fire.
  5. Put water on the Sufuria.
  6. Realize their is no water in the containers🤣.
  7. Run🏃 to the tap outside you find the queue is long.
  8. Remember you didn’t put off the gas.
    9.Run🏃 back to the house you find Sufuria ‘burning’.
  9. You want to remove Sufuria but you can’t remember where you put “Kamata”.
  10. You hit the Sufuria to fall off the gas.
  11. You run back to the tap and bring water🙈😁🤣😅.
  12. Put the water on the Sufuria and heat to boiling.
  13. You want to put unga and stir.
  14. You realize the unga is not enough😉.
  15. Run🏃 to the shop again.
  16. Buy a small unga. Ya ajab
  17. Meet a friend on your way and start talking.🤣
  18. Come back and find the Sufuria “has finished” the water.
  19. Add more water and wait to boil again.
  20. Pour the unga and prepare to stir.🤣
  21. You realize you didn’t wash the ‘Mwiko’ so you wash first.
  22. ‘Kamata’ is still missing you. You use a piece of cloth(boxer mzee) to hold Sufuria.
  23. Now stir as you add more unga.
  24. Continue stirring until the unga thickens.
  25. Go outside and “smell” kama imeiva.🤣😅
  26. Serve the ugali but you realize there is no clean plate.
  27. Wash one plate quickly.😉😁
  28. You notice the “Kamata” was just their next to the gas….Nkt.
  29. Eat the ugali “small-Small” as you prepare vegetables.😁🤣
    Let me not tell you how we cook vegetables because we will end up eating next week 😁🤣😅

POLICE FORCED TO SHOT SEVERAL ROUNDS IN THE AIR TO SAVE THEIR LIVES DURING AN ILLICIT BREW CRACKDOWN.

Illicit brew destruction

Police officers in Bungoma County,Mt. Elgon sub county led by OCS Kapsokwony Police Station chief inspector Edward Mabonga were on mobile patrol within Kipchiria village MRXR 990926 about 4 kms east of the station when they came across over three hundred people drinking busaa/changaa alcoholic drinks.

The officers challenged them to surrender,they dispersed then regrouped after few minutes armed with pangas,rungus and other crude weapons surrounding the officers ready to attack them. This prompted the to act in self defence whereby Pc.Paul Mugambi fired six rounds of ammunition from his Ak 47 rifle into the air and four tear gas canisters were thrown to the group which scared them enabling the officers to retreat back.

During the incident,none of the officers was injured but the station motorvehicle registration No. GKB576J Ford Ranger was hit with a stone which broke one side mirror.Efforts on progress to seek more reinforcements to hunt and arrest the notorious brewers soon.

WE ARE ARSENAL AND ARSENAL IS OUR BUSINESS

They say that ARSENAL has stayed for 15 years without winning the EPL, but they never say Manchester Utd spent 26 yrs without winning in the EPL (1967- 1993). They never say LIVERPOOL F.C stayed for 30 years until now 2019-2020 season. They never say CHELSEA spent half a century plus one – 51 years […]

WE ARE ARSENAL AND ARSENAL IS OUR BUSINESS

WE ARE ARSENAL AND ARSENAL IS OUR BUSINESS

They say that ARSENAL has stayed for 15 years without winning the EPL, but they never say Manchester Utd spent 26 yrs without winning in the EPL (1967- 1993).

They never say LIVERPOOL F.C stayed for 30 years until now 2019-2020 season.

They never say CHELSEA spent half a century plus one – 51 years without winning EPL (1954-2005).

They never mention Manchester City took 44 yrs without winning EPL (1964- 2012).

They never yap that Tottenham stayed and is still waiting and counting since Kenya got its independence to date (1964- and still counting) without winning EPL.

They forget to say by choice, that it’s only ARSENAL that has gone for the entire season UNBEATEN in the English premier League.

And lest you forget, it’s  the ONLY team that has NEVER been relegated ever since it started playing in the English premier league.

We are the first TEAM from epl to beat real madrid at home

The most competitive cup in England is FA cup we lead 14 followed by man u

And to they also forget that it’s ARSENAL that has loyal fans across the globe. We remain to be the greatest club that is going to win the Europa League this season.

#kroenke out. we are not going to forgive we are not going to forget

A MAN SHOCKS THE VILLAGE AFTER IMPREGNATING HIS MOTHER IN LAW

A 32-year old man in Bugoma county has shocked his village after impregnating his mother-in-law who had visited them to assist daughter who had delivered recently in handling their newborn baby. Kelvin Waliba, according to his wife, did not deny having an intimate affair with her 43 years old mother.

Ms Nekesa, Waliba’s wife, blamed herself for having invited her mother to help babysit their 5 months old daughter after refusing to hire a househelp in fear that she will take her husband. “I feared that the house help will come and take my place . I therefore invited my mother to come over and help as I make plans to get a househelp”

Mr Waliba who works as a gardener in a neighbouring school is said to have been sneaking back into the house and engaging in lovemaking with the 43 year old mother-in-law. According to the mother-in-law, she has been single and therefore didn’t see any problem with what she did. Because she need someone to help her in satisfying her thirst of making love.

“I am not married and was struggling with intense dryspell. I found it hard to reject Kelvin advances”, Said the Mother-in-law. Village elders are now planning a cleansing ceremony for the family as this is considered a great taboo in this community.